So drunk its hurt
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
