we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
