I love black thongs
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
