Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
