so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
