my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
