So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
