that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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