Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
