i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
