I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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