I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
