That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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