How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
