Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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