Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
