So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
