I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize