so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
