You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
