absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
