Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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