I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
