Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize