During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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