so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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