Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
