i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
