The best revenge is premature balding
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize