it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
