It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
