the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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