East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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