I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
