I just made out with a guy for $7.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
