i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
