Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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