so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
