My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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