And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
