she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
