Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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