Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
