youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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