You can't motorboat a personality
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
