I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize