i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
