I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
