Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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