I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
