We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cockslap morals
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
