how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
