Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize