jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
