So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
