and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
