I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
