Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
