You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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