Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
