O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
