Do you still have your period?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
