was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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