They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize