the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
