ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize